Tag Archives: optimism

And I saw the sign…

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Nope, I don’t do karaokes. Unless you’d like to go deaf for the rest of your life. Let me explain the title.

As of writing, I am still jobless and still waiting – courting, even – for my love job to get back to me. Seeing as I am at the crossroads of my life, I made a deal with the gods above – Roman,Greek, Catholic, Indian, Chinese, etc – to give me a sign whether I should wait or move on. This was on a Thursday. I didn’t see the sign during that day which, mind you, was too specific the probability is very unfavourable to me. This was to see our store’s bus on the street. Currently, we have only two buses all throughout Singapore going on specific roads at different timings with which I don’t have access – at least the timings and where it’s currently at. Well, there are about at least 10 buses of the same bus number (please refer to Singapore bus routes for more understanding). And oh, there are about 17,046 buses in Singapore as of 2011, so the chances are really, really, really low…

I opened my Facebook and saw one of my managers post the photo of the bus and asked myself, is this the sign I have been waiting for? After a few more hours of wandering into the city running little errands, I opened my Facebook and saw another manager post another photo of our bus. Picture this – I’m desperate, very stressed, and very willing to believe that this is the sign I have been waiting for. But then, since this is just, maybe, an alternative, an indirect way of convincing me, I asked for an extension. Just one final day to see if this will happen or not.

Nope, this is definitely not what I meant by “I saw the sign.”

WP_000306Friday. I left home at around 3:30pm and had to rush somewhere near my previous office to meet with one of my bosses based from another country. Catch up and you know, give me my present from New York. Yay!

By the time we finished, it was already 5:00pm and I had to rush to my boyfriend’s office before 5:30pm, I forgot all about the sign. It was already a short time to try to look for it, and where I’m going to is not part of the route. Well, I know about the area the buses go to since I recommended it. So probably the photo in Facebook is all the sign I’m looking for. Sometimes, we just have to be contented with what we have.

Suddenly, while talking to my Mom on an overseas call, I saw a bus design that I have stared at countless times during the time we were getting it approved.

I saw the sign!

I tell you, I felt as if I won the lottery during that time. I know that the manifestation of my sign is by no means any indication of what’s to happen or that it can be a scientific hullabaloo for the things to come, but hey, surely someone up there is listening to me. Or maybe just playing pranks and laughing at my expense. But anyway, this made me happy. And optimistic. Whether it does or does not merit any truth, I’ll definitely write about it. But as of now, this placebo is enough to get me going.

In the meantime, join me in badgering the gods above to answer my prayers. 

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Self Pep Talk and Finding a Hero

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From nonsense and mundane tasks to expressions of love and greetings, Facebook has become the ultimate spy-cum-encyclopedia-cum-site, that has cyber-ly bridged communication between long-(and short-)distanced connections.

Jumbled amid the various messages and updates in this social networking site are quotes from the Bible (or Koran, or any other religious manuscripts) and quotes that would either a.)  make you smirk, b.) make you life with the cheesy lines, or c.) strike you hard with a sudden realization. The last point is probably comparable to jumping of a high diving board and having your chest do a hard collision with the surface of the water.

“The greatest battles are fought in the mind.”

— Casey Treat

I take advantage of reading through the good quotes posted on Facebook‘s news feed. Good thing someone else bothers to actively search of ones in the hopes that someone will get struck – just like me. Admittedly, I have been thinking too much lately (please put heavy stress on the “too much” part). So, this is the reason I am having too much problems: it’s because I overthink! If the greatest battles are fought in the mind and I believe that I am, well, at an all time low, then it is me who creates it probably, or at least magnifies small ones.

When my Mom said be thankful of the wide forehead that I inherited from my Dad because apparently I have more rooms for a bigger brain (duh), I don’t think she meant that I should making it hard for myself. Life in itself is a vortex of problems, least we should do is add some more. (Honestly, I think sometimes this is just to console myself regarding my forehead haha).

This morning, during my usual 10-minute walk from the MRT to the office, the song that got stuck in my head is Bonnie Tyler’s I Need a Hero:

I need a hero, I’m holding out for at hero ’till the end of the night

He’s gotta be strong and he’s gotta be fast

And he’s gotta be fresh from the fight

It would have been wonderful if there was a person who could act like a magical bullet for all our problems, sort of what Cinderella had with her fairy godmother. Though I got to admit, she didn’t instantly solved the damsel-in-distress’ problems, but rather provided her with the means with which to aid her for that limelight with the prince.

Fairy tales, in the least, come true not only in a kid’s dream, but in some adults’ as well. In reality, however, what we can take out from it are the lessons in all virtues you can possibly name of since it would actually be impossible to get a glittering wand that can turn a pumpkin into a handsome horse carriage.

Anyway, going back to the song. I do have my heroes in life: my Dad, my Mom, my wonderful siblings, and of course, Butz. One more person I should be including in this enumeration is, surprisingly, myself. Whoever this Casey Treat is, I’ve learned that if we are the greatest enemies of ourselves, we could also be our greatest heroes as well.

T’will be damn hard to believe in others, if we don’t self practice. 😉

Scoring Goals for the Long Term

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Nervous. Excited. Worried. Happy. Pressured. Confident. Scared. Exhilarated.

I can go on listing all emotions possible and yet these wouldn’t be enough to describe what I am about to do: make long term goals. Currently palpitating, I imagine the words listed above madly rotating in a seeming blender inside my stomach, bringing my insides in confusion and anticipation. Okay, enough postponing the inevitable by writing nonsense introductions. I guess I will have to try to do one goal at a time, each with its own time frame.

Note: This blog should and will be edited from time to time. Either for adding up new goals, or to reflect upon accomplishing them. 😀

SUMMARY:

GOAL #1: Blue hair and a visit to my 2nd most dreaded four-cornered room – the dentist. Check for the latter! 06.07.10. Blue hair to come!

GOAL #2: Learn, learn, learn!

GOAL #3: Back to writing!


Let’s get it on!

GOAL #1: Blue hair and a visit to my 2nd most dreaded four-cornered room – the dentist.

Deadline: 04th July, 2010 (weekend after the salary haha!)

I have been wanting to ice up my hair in the cool shade of blue. Not totally, mind you. Dress to express, not to impress, as the saying goes.

Hedonism is a school of ethics which argues that pleasure is the only intrinsic good.

-definition from Wikipedia


In some aspects of life, we should also consider about being pleased with ourselves in order to manifest that positivism and goodness, if I may say so. Example, how are you to console your daughter or sister about her looks, if deep inside, you are not comfortable with your own skin?

Hedonism is good to such an extent that you do not use this as an excuse to justify maligning other people’s positivism or goodness. Just like that quote “your right ends when another’s begin.” These two statements are admittedly, debate-worthy. So, I will just leave it to the rational species of the earth to use and understand it with all the might of their brain cells. Okay, I’ve drifted off the topic and have quoted a lot for the simple purpose of coloring my hair. So now, it’s
the dreaded dentist talk.

Hospital and dental fees are way to expensive here in Singapore as compared to the Philippines, which (strongly stressed) do not necessarily  mean that the former outweighs the latter in terms of service (definitely not), safety, and quality. Everything in Singapore is expensive, even a single token’s worth at Timezone is expensive. Promising myself to take care of my biters, I’ll schedule a visit in the next two weeks.


GOAL #2: Learn, learn, learn!

Deadline: Until November 2010

If you find yourself bored and thinking that you have experienced everything possible in life, then sister, it’s time to bang your head on the wall for a good reality check. Never be satisfied with what you currently know. Life is, aside from love, all about learning. I admit that I am not an active student and I do not believe much that schools can equip you for everything. What I do know is that these institutions provide you groundwork and the rest – application, additional learning, facing life! – is up to you.

So, since I enjoy photography, I am currently scouting for good Photoshop/Dreamweaver/any other software applications that will not only enhance my interest for the arts, but might also come in handy for my future job. 🙂 (Please let this come soon!)


GOAL #3: Back to writing!

Deadline: ASAP!

Perhaps nothing is more gratifying than letting your nose bleed and cracking your head hard – career-wise at least. Pressure and stress are definitely the office hazards, but just think of the rewards after accomplishing such tasks makes you feel – to borrow the lines of Leonardo DiCaprio from the movie Titanic – like the “king of the world.”

Since I should be starting to accept the fact that the term “youth” might soon be irrelevant to me and that each second that ticks by is unique, I have to “dust myself off and try again” (song by Aaliyah from the movie, Romeo Must Die) and look forward to having a long term career as one of my long term goals.

Hard but uber gratifying, it always should be a pleasure to take a task head on which is one step above what you think you can do. Be confident and not conceited. This is the rollercoaster ride I am looking forward to. I am praying with all my might for the accomplishment of this. I’ll give myself 3 months to make this change, else I will probably go ballistic.