It’s 4:19 am as of writing, and I’d really love to say that I can’t sleep because of the loud snores from my roommate or because Candy Crush is keeping by braincells (or what’s left of it) up. But truth be told, it’s because of an overwhelming stress.

At (nearly) 27, things tend to get more serious in life, no matter how much one tries to cling to the Peter Pan Syndrome as they call it. This is such a bad age to be jobless and at the same time, to have to realign goals and courses of action. It’s so so easy to bitch about how come others possess what you have and not be appreciative about it, and to throw an endless fit about how things suddenly go haywire from being perfect. But at the end of the day, thinking about what others have is just a means of escapism, a way of avoiding your own problem and about delaying confrontation. This realisation is what’s keeping me up.

I’m not making any sense nor do I hope to make any sense. I’ll just treat this as a silent prayer from the gods above to guide me in the next critical days. I’m way past signs and miracles, and it’s about time to make a move and not wait. Still, a little intervention would help.


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