two years throwback


And now, I am officially a bum.


Two – no, make that three – years ago I was wishing for a miracle to make my self-imposed exile be meaningful. I then had found a job that has pretty much become a big part of me and now, due to inconsequential issues (at least to me), would have to leave albeit with much reluctance. Which brings me back to a sinking void of what I though was just part of my past.

Funny how, instead of counting the days before I turn another year older (and supposedly wiser), I am counting the days of until when I can make my next move. Relocate, come home, or just stay.

The next months will be very difficult, seeing as I am in another crossroads of my life. Sometimes, don’t you just wish you can talk to yourself even just two months from now and get that sign you are waiting for? You know, just assure you that you won’t be a derelict, or a paint-sniffing bum. Afterall, who can best assure you that you “can accomplish heights” than yourself?

I guess what I’m going through right now is like Steve Jobs getting fired from Apple. This is a temporary bump in the road and foresee a greatness (whoa) in the days ahead. I just have to take advantage of the following things:

  • No need to set an alarm clock every morning.  
  • Oversleeping is common.
  • More time for Candy Crush.
  • Bathing, toothbrushing, and binge eating at any time of the day.
  • Lastly, no need to dress up as much – not that I’m naked or anything, but I can just wear pyjamas the entire day.

I do have a feeling that I’ll be able to convince myself that this is  only for a few days, after which my body and mind will endlessly complain of inaction or lack of work. If I can only cross my fingers while typing…

One last thing I failed to mention above is that this temporary vacation is a good way to reevaluate and be thankful of the other things that are going on in my life. This makes me appreciate having a job I love more, spend more time with the people who I would just have otherwise exchanged “hi” at the most, and be thankful and proud that my youngest brother has just graduated valedictorian in their class. And oh, they say love is sweeter the second time around. I got back with my boyfriend of four years.

So despite the emo-wave that’s hitting me, thank you Almighty for making other things beautiful despite how sucky I feel.



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