Two years and a lifetime ago


Seven hundred and thirty days ago, I kept on defying gravity. Back then I felt that science shouldn’t be stronger than I am, no matter how highfaluting the reasons were.

That was really the first time I got separated from my family. During college, I braved the busy and fatiguing streets of the city as well as the hard and dangerous roads on my way to nighttime work – all these because I didn’t want to stay in a dormitory.

Graduation from college waved a bright red flag of reality in front of me. I gotta do something not only for my future, but for my family’s as well. This option of  being an OFW was introduced to me by my Aunt staying in Hawaii, and since she fastidiously supported our school fees since high school, I mustered up big loads of confidence that so I can declare and independence day of my own. I wouldn’t call this as looking for greener pastures. Afterall, I’m not a cow or something.

One hour into the flight, I was already crying my heart out. It is harder than just hard, but at least, I didn’t cry in front of them. It was purely superficial courage and a constant effort to keep a poker face and I know they had a hard time as well. That magnified my pain six times, for each of them. Why would one leave the warmth of the only people who truly loves you no matter what for a dull and callous treatment overseas? Beats me.

Generally, I am not the shallow-tears type. Back in high school recollection, I was the only one without red eyes in the room so the nun organizing the session got me into doing errands, ie buying candles or getting something outside the room, because everybody else was a train wreck. Yeah, I didn’t even cry when Leonardo DiCaprio froze to death and sank in the ocean after Titanic sank.

Even with just three hours away, no matter how much and how strong I believe that they are always in my heart, it just IS so hard to be far from where your heart is. My first Mass in Singapore was with my cousins and his family at the St. Paul’s Church in 843, Upper Serangoon Road Singapore 534683. The Gospel wouldn’t have been more appropriate:

Matthew 11:28-30

28“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

I think back then strong blinding lights parted the ceiling of the church and some angels were singing. I dunno, maybe the reason I wasn’t seeing well was because of too much muta (eye boogers or medically known as rheum) haha.

Anyway, it was a good passage to uplift a bit of a battered soul. I am not a religious fanatic, nor would I ever claim to be one, but I am faithful. Sometimes, you will just get so amazed that such a big universe operates in intricate ways.

To celebrate, or maybe whatever is the antonym of celebrate, I was supposed to go to Mass at the same church, but unfortunately, I think it was undergoing renovation since the hotline said there were no masses that day. So I went to the Church of the Nativity of the Blessed Virgin Mary at nearby 1259 Upper Serangoon Road, Singapore 534795.

I am not invincible, I still cry and get hurt. But this does not stop me from fighting. Happy Independence Day!


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